We cannot avoid getting hurt. Hurt just comes without a warning or anything. Sometimes we see the signs about what will hurt us but we choose to ignore the signals most of the time.
And when we finally get hurt, we say “I wish I saw the signs” or “why did I ignore the warnings?” It’s always too late and bad enough, we can never undo the damage done to us. To our bodies, our minds, souls, and hearts.
Getting hurt really hurts. And I say this from experience because first off, I’m a very emotional person so trust me when I say I UNDERSTAND. It doesn’t matter who, what or how you get hurt. It doesn’t change the pain we feel. Pain is just pain.
Some years back, I used to dwell in the things that hurt me so much that I felt unloved. I always had that “why me?” voice in my head.
I’ve had friends that hurt me to the point that I couldn’t trust anyone near me. I kept to myself because I felt that everyone who befriended me was the same and would just betray me and hurt me in the end. I became my own friend (that got lonely at some point) and sometimes I would have people ask me who my friends were and I would just say I DON’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS. I just decided to stay away from people and their fake friendships.
AND IT WAS BY FAR THE BEST THING I EVER DID.
I’m not telling anyone to stop having friends, but for me, it was an eye-opening journey. I started being choosy and picky about the people I let in my life and the few that I decided to let in, have been with me through thick and thin.
I’m not just talking about getting hurt by friends, no. Everyone can hurt you. Be it your family, lover, friends, and even people that you don’t know.
One thing I know is that IT IS NEVER OKAY to give people excuses when they hurt you no matter who they are. No one has the right to hurt you. You should never give anyone the chance to hurt you in any way.
You are so precious and worthy of love in all its forms and glory. You are enough just the way you are and YOU ARE EXPENSIVE. You should always affirm that you are worth so much more than what meets the eye and whoever doesn’t see that, can go screw themselves and have fun while at it.
If I start telling you guys about how many times people have hurt me, we would take forever. And for my own privacy and for the respect of those who apologized to me, I’d rather spare you the details.
BUT I WILL TELL YOU HOW I HEALED
And I’m pretty sure you will too. In due time.
What you should understand is that forgiving, forgetting, and healing from the hurt is not easy. It takes time to do all that. It might take days, weeks, months, or years and that’s okay. Healing takes time. Just like how scars take longer to fade, healing does that too.
TALK TO GOD.
This is something you should get used to hearing me say all the time because I can never stress it enough. God is your best friend, your confidant, and your everything. God will heal your wounds and mend your broken soul.
With everything that I’ve seen and been through, no one can tell me anything about my faith in God. So always go to him with your problems and he will listen. You will never hear what you told God coming from someone else’s mouth. You’ll never hear him announcing your problems to other people.
He will NEVER embarrass you. On the contrary, he will lift you up and take off loads of pain that you’re carrying.
What I noticed when I started praying about my troubles was that I always felt lighter afterward. I felt so good and my worries would just disappear. Praying really works for me.
I wouldn’t just pray. I talked to God all the time and everywhere. When I eat, when I drink, when I’m walking, talking, having a shower. ALL THE TIME.
So if you have things that take away your peace and trouble you, speak to God about it. He knows and he sees what you’re going through. He never wants his children to suffer in the hands of other humans.
God will lift you up in front of all those who wish you pain.
PS: I’m not trying to force anyone into religion or into believing in God because I know some people don’t. I’m just talking about my PERSONAL experience and what worked for me. You’re free to believe in whatever you want.
TAKE TIME TO VENT AND CRY…
Trusting people can really be difficult once you’ve been hurt. But venting is really nice for the soul. Find someone that you really trust like your parents, brother or sister and let it all out. Crying is not for the weak.
I respect people who let their feelings out and cry about them. You’re human after all and entitled to your own feelings.
After getting a person you trust and know you can tell anything, talk to them about what you’re going through. Tell them what you feel, who or what hurt you, what you’ve done, and what you want to do. It’s okay if you don’t want them to advise you. Sometimes we just need someone to hear us out and offer their shoulders to us for comfort.
I will not sit here and lie to you about how long it will take for you to finally stop crying over what hurt you because I don’t know the depth of your pain and how much what you’ve gone through has affected you. We all hurt and heal differently. And so we all have different times to get over our feelings.
But what I can assure you is that it will all come to an end. Maybe not instantly but someday. Don’t be hard on yourself for all the things that you can’t change rather learn to deal with everything that is in your power to control. When you learn to train your mind into dealing with different energies around you (positive and negative), then it will get easier to control your ways of reacting to everything.
If by any chance you have no one to vent to, it’s okay to seek professional help. Find a psychologist and talk to them about what you’re going through. It’s always nice to have a person to listen to us rambling about our problems.
DON’T ALLOW THE SAME SITUATIONS…
Do not allow the same people and things that hurt you before, to hurt you again… If you know exactly what has brought harm to you, why would you want to stay and be around the same things?
If you keep entertaining the things that bring you pain and hurt, you will HURT AGAIN.
You need to show you value and what you exactly deserve. When people around you see that you’re not adding value to yourself and your feelings, they will walk all over you again and again and again.
Distance yourself from the same energies and see how your life turns for the better.
DO NOT GET USED TO GETTING HURT.
Why would you allow them to hurt you?
Darling, you’re so precious and expensive. Do not allow people to do you wrong all the time and still act like it is okay because it is not and that should be clear to you and everyone you surround yourself with. Avoid the same type of friendships that hurt your soul, the same toxic relationships, and every other thing that has brought you pain over and over.
If you are used to telling people about your personal things and secrets but they betray your trust in the end, PLEASE STOP. And this applies to everything else.
Do not wait until more damage is done to you for you to act upon yourself. Your value is important and you deserve love, peace, and all the rainbows there are…
YOU DESERVE MORE AND BETTER.
I hope after reading this, you get to realize that it takes time to heal but it doesn’t take time to hurt. Hurt is in mere seconds and healing can take an eternity. We’re all different so we respond differently to situations.
The same thing that could hurt a person lightly or with no effect at all, can hurt someone else very intensely. Please be kind to other people, choose your words and actions wisely. Be considerate to other people and treat them with the same love and kindness you wish to be treated with. We’re not the same, we’re born different, we live differently, we have different experiences. Please be empathetic.
I hope this post helps you and yours.
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Till next time
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