Let’s talk about the behaviors of a fake friend… How are they and how will you be able to identify who’s fake and who’s real?
We live with people we call friends and family but in reality, they really aren’t. You might be a friend to them, a good one at that but they just aren’t to you.
It’s really devastating when you find out someone so close to you hasn’t been real with you all the while, you were hell-bent on supporting and helping them out in everything they do. It’s pure heartbreak. It makes us wonder whether everyone else is real or just pretending.
So, to help with the unnecessary heartbreaks or whatever you want to call them, I got you some easy ways to spot a fake friend.
It’s actually pretty easy too, it’s just that love and trust are bad blinders. I mean, duh! How would you even begin to doubt your childhood best friend or someone that has been close to you for so long that you share stuff and even consider family?
But… It happens. ALL THE TIME. And as hurtful as it can be, that’s just the sad reality.
Truth is, we live in a very harsh world. A world where love is measured and given on duration. I can love you today and tomorrow but will pretend to not know you for the rest of the coming year. It’s ridiculous.
It’s been said that little children need playmates, whereas adults need friends.
What’s the difference?
A playmate is someone who keeps you company
A friend is someone who also shares your values.
A true companionship is loving all the time, and is a brother born for when there is distress. That’s probably describing a deeper kind of friendship than you found as a child in school or at the playground.
But then again, not everyone who claims to be a friend has what it takes to live up to the label. The bible says,
There exist companions disposed to break one another to pieces.
Consider this; have you ever had a ‘friend’ who took advantage of you? What about one who talked behind your back or spread false rumors about you? Such an experience can shatter your trust. For most of us, it has greatly succeeded.
Always remember that when it comes to friends, QUALITY is more important than QUANTITY. It doesn’t matter how many friends you have. Question is, what do they do for you and what do you do for them?
Get you some friends that motivate you to be the best version of yourself. Someone who is ready to defend and stand by you when things go rough. A person who inspires you and loves you for who you are. Not someone who’s there for you during summer and when winter comes, they’re nowhere to be found.
So how can know a fake friend in the first place?
THEY SEE YOU AS COMPETITION
And let me warn you, not the good kind. A fake friend will always see you as competition in whatever you do. They’ll always want to be better and do better than you.
Because in their minds, you are just not allowed to win. I mean, why should you even start to think you could be better than them? You must be outta your damn mind.
This type of friend is always finding ways to compete, whether it’s for the attention of a guy, the approval of other friends, or for job-related praise. The Competitive Friend doesn’t have the ability to simply congratulate another friend on his or her accomplishments or positive news. And when they do, its mere hypocrisy. Nothing comes from the heart.
It’s true that we all live in the competitive world and as such in the line of development with our interests & hobbies. We very often come to love and celebrate the development of those close to us. As a matter of fact, competition is not at all bad as it helps us grow for the growth out of our shells.
For instance in school during our study period, we desire to make a better performance or a higher score of marks in comparison to other students. This line of competition has its root right from school & subsequent higher career. It is in this line, we work out our action of life.
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Competition is not at all bad & it should be taken in the world of spirit and not of jealously. If you have a friendship like that, consider it a red flag.
Such a person becomes jealous of your achievement, & in the spirit offering good wishes for your progress. Very often such a person will take the negative traits & disturb the atmosphere of the friendship you have, forgetting the basic fact that a friend in need is a friend indeed.
Breaking up with friends isn’t always the easiest decision to make — but it can be the healthiest. Not everyone is meant to be our friend forever — and that’s OK. The truth is, friends don’t always act like friends. And when that becomes a pattern, it’s time to demote them to acquaintance, where they belong. Friendships are supposed to be supportive and encouraging, not polarizing and antagonistic. So if you look around and realize you and your bud are pretty much participating in a match-up it could be time to exit through this friendship.
SIGNS TO WATCH OUT FOR.
Discredit you in front of people
Attempts to sabotage your success
Watch your every move
They brag in your presence
Try to outshine you every chance they get
Downplay your accomplishments
Don’t celebrate your victories
Copy your every move
Seem delighted in your misfortunes
THEY DON’T SUPPORT YOU IN ANY WAY
“Oh you started a business? That’s really great, I’m happy for you.”
But are they really genuinely happy for you or just saying that? Mmmh I don’t think so
Most of the time, they act like your best friend or that sister you never had but when it comes to supporting you and the things that you do, they strangely disappear.
Funny thing is, you actually see them supporting other people and some of their other friends. They’re always there for them encouraging them and doing everything they never do for you. You might own a business and have pretty dresses for only $10 but don’t buy from you saying they have no money but you see them buy a $200 dress from another shop.
Preference? I highly doubt it
In my opinion, a supportive friend will encourage you and buy stuff from you even though they don’t need it at the time.
It doesn’t even necessarily have to be buying. Is promoting your business also hard? Because I can understand saying we have different tastes and maybe they don’t use what you’re selling. But helping to PROMOTE it? I mean come on!!
What are friends for again?
Going out to parties and getting drunk together? Naah! Don’t think so.
A real friend will encourage you with anything that you do and try. They’ll be your cheerleader and personal hypeman. They’ll be with you through thick and thin and who can motivate you to take the right path
Let it come to a point where you can do everything and anything without depending on your friends support. Whether they choose to help and support you or not, shouldn’t affect what you got going on in any way.
THEY NEVER INCLUDE YOU.
Something along this line;
“I saw on social media that you guys went out last night”
“oh yeah we did. We didn’t tell you because we weren’t sure you’d wanna come with us” OR “We’re so sorry we forgot to call you to join us. Next time okay? Love you”
Girlll.. Really???? Are you efing kidding me?
How the hell you going to say you weren’t sure I’d wanna come if you didn’t ask?
Or that you forgot to call me? Hilarious
If this has happened to you, I guess you knew exactly the type of people you had keeping around you. It’s not rocket science to figure it out.
They’re not your friends.
Otherwise they would include you and try calling you before coming to a conclusion that you wouldn’t go.
This is definitely a red flag to watch out for.
Are you often the one in a friendship who is always initiating?
You always make the call to plan dinner or outing?
You make yourself available to your friends but they don’t prioritize you the same way?
This uneven balance of effort in the friendship is draining and frustrating. Over time, it makes you feel disrespected and unloved by your friends.
Just get yourself new friends
There are so many people out there to be friends with. People with actual good intentions. More so, you shouldn’t be afraid of losing friends. You’re not 5 anymore and this world is full of amazing people like yourself.
The way people treat you is exactly how they feel about you darling. Keep your eyes open
It’s tough when your friends begin to ignore you. Especially when you’ve always been there for them and haven’t done anything wrong rather than be the best friend they could ever have asked for.
A friend who cares, invests equal time and energy into maintaining the relationship. He or she initiates plans, reaches out to talk, and shows a similar willingness to prioritize the friendship.
They only call you when they need something
They can easily drop you as a friend when it suits them
It’s not easy to spot a fake friend or someone who isn’t genuinely interested in the friendship you have to offer. Be cautious
I used to be afraid of losing people until I realized most of them were never really down for me anyways. Even though my loyalty and love for them ran deep, they couldn’t care less. So instead of being afraid of losing them, I fell back and watched them lose me. It’s called GROWTH
Don’t let people manipulate you into thinking you gave up on them when you really left to save yourself. Sometimes people don’t want to believe they’re toxic so they put all the blame on you for pity
TO BE CONTINUED….
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