So, I know I haven’t posted in like forever! So sorry about that but I’ve been going through some personal battles and I knew that I needed some time to cool off and be okay before I continue with anything I was doing before.
Coming back, I’ve been reflecting on things that happen around me and from the people that I come in contact with, and I’ve been noticing similar things everywhere! The rules we go by in life and what we’ve been through play a very big role in our lives.
Whether you’re rich or not, successful or hustling to be, it just isn’t any different from how we go through life. Most of the time, the only difference is money and wealth.
BUT DOES OUR PAST REALLY DEFINE WHO WE ARE?
Would you say your past is the sole reason why you live and see life the way you do? I mean, is it REALLY the one making you live life the way you do?
From my personal experience, it’s 50/50. There are things that I’ve experienced that have made me live the way I do and there are some that I would never let keep me hostage. To me, if something doesn’t affect me positively in my life then it has no place in my life. That’s just how I go.
SO WHAT ARE LIFE LESSONS?
These are basically things that you’ve been through in life or experienced directly and indirectly. You might have experienced them on your own or through other people. To help you out and make it easier for you…because I’m here for you, here are 10 life lessons or hacks (whatever you want to call them) that I’ve learned over the years.
01: ALWAYS BE YOURSELF
This is so important to remember every day. Always be yourself in whatever it is that you do and anywhere you go. You don’t need to be like someone else and act like them. Being yourself will give you the freedom of doing things you like doing instead of copying what other people are doing.
Don’t ever worry about the people in your life and how they would react to you. Trust me, the right people will stay with you no matter how you are. If some people think your too much then darling, they’re not for you. And if they think you’re not enough, then shoot! You’re definitely not for them.
Not everyone is going to like you and that is okay. Matter of fact, it’s impossible to be liked by everyone. So just drop it. Drop the need for approval just because there’s a form of you that you think people will confirm more and like more.
You actually never know what blessings you’re blocking by not being yourself.
In a world full of copies, be an original. Don’t waste your whole life trying to live a life that’s not yours. If you live someone else’s life, then who will live yours? NO ONE!
02: PRACTICE GRATITUDE
Always learn to be grateful for everything in your life, whether small or big. If you can’t be grateful for the tiniest things that happen in your life, then there’s a big chance you won’t be grateful for big things. I mean, is it really that hard to be grateful for things? Heck! You being alive and kicking right now is so much to be grateful for.
Appreciate the things that people do for you too, because you never know what they went through to do them for you. Something might seem little or small to you, but it might have taken someone a whole lot of energy and time to do them for your happiness or peace of mind.
It’s easy for anyone to help or do random things for you when you’re always grateful. Even I wouldn’t want to help an ungrateful person. Why would I? If you can’t show how grateful you are, the least you can do is say a simple thank you.
Start being grateful for the things in your life that money can’t buy and know how blessed you are and also count the things that money can buy, to appreciate where you’ve come from. You’ll see how the universe rewards you.
03: KNOW WHEN TO SAY NO
Saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care. I think what mostly sets us back in life is our inability to say no to things. It shouldn’t be that way.
Say no to whatever you feel doesn’t suit you. And you shouldn’t even feel guilty about it. Saying yes to things you don’t want to do is super unhealthy. I get it. You don’t want to make the other person feel bad or think that you don’t care about them but that’s not the case. It really doesn’t have to be.
It’s so selfish of a person to always expect you to say yes to them even when they know that you’re not comfortable with doing it.
Darling, there shouldn’t be guilt or shame when it comes to saying a simple straight NO. Learn to say it and walk away if you think facing them will lead you to say yes after a few negotiations or persuasions. IT’S NOT A CRIME.
04: COMPARISON IS A THIEF OF JOY.
Tell me honestly. How do you feel whenever you compare yourself to others? Does it feel good? You might need help if it does…seriously!
When you compare yourself to others, you rob yourself of your own happiness and time. Comparing yourself to other people’s business and what they do only sets you back from your divine purpose and individual path. Focus on what you have going on.
Especially during this era of social media where everyone is beautiful, rich, and successful on social media like Instagram. You start seeing people brag about expensive stuff that you don’t have or the beauty they possess and you start looking down on yourself like you’re worthless and asking “God when? Why not me?”. Do not do that.
If you’re too busy staring at someone else’s food, yours will get cold, and you won’t be able to eat it.
Trust me, I used to compare myself to a lot of people and it used to drain out all my energy. But when I realized that I’ve been too busy focusing and comparing myself to others, I stopped and it changed my life for the better. I’m a happy soul who doesn’t compare herself to anyone. I’m just ME.
05: MINDSET IS EVERYTHING
Need I repeat? Mindset is everything. Whatever it is that you train your mind to think and do, is what will happen. If you feed your mind negative things then everything you do in life will be based on negativity but when you train your precious mind to think positively, you win. Everything you do will give you positive results.
You cannot manifest good things in your life if your mind is filled with negative energy. The law of attraction. You attract what you focus your energy on.
You can’t expect to be successful when all you think about is that you’re a failure. Never in this life. Every successful person you know had a positive mindset and believed in whatever they did and that’s how they got where they are now.
Do yourself a favor and start training your mind in a positive direction, because that’s where all the good things are. That’s how you should live. Knowing that you’re great, enough, and can do absolutely anything. Because you really can.
If you believe you can, you really can. If you believe you can’t, then it’s true that you can’t. it’s a choice.
06: WE ALL THINK DIFFERENTLY
One of the most important things to always remember when dealing with other people is that we have different minds. Our brains function differently and that’s why some are geniuses and some aren’t. Otherwise, we all would be.
Never look down on people who think differently or lesser than you. It should never be an option. If you have an idea and someone else doesn’t understand it, don’t call them stupid. Sit down and explain it to them to the best of your ability instead of dragging them down the mud.
Never make someone feel uneducated, dumb, or stupid just because they can’t think the same way you do. Not everyone is obligated to think like you and that’s just fine. Differences are what make us special and stand out from the rest of the crowd.
We all get to learn and discover new things on a daily basis. We experience different things as well. Just because you see a number 9 doesn’t mean who sees a number 6 is wrong. It means that you’re just viewing it from different angles.
07: FORGIVENESS IS FOR YOU
Know that when you forgive, it’s not for the other person but for yourself. We usually think that forgiveness is to make the other person feel better about what they’ve done to you and fail to realize it’s for our peace of mind.
You forgive to ease the burden in your own heart. For your own happiness and joy. I’m very sorry if you’re harboring pain and hate and grudges in your heart over something that was done to you or if you haven’t healed from all the pain and hurt that people have put you through.
Healing and letting go of all your anger is not easy. I wrote a post about healing that you can go through and learn about how you can gradually let go of the pain.
Learn to forgive without being asked forgiveness because not everyone will come and apologize to you. Holding everything in your heart and waiting for the other person to feel remorse will only increase your anger and hatred more.
08: PARENTS ARE ALSO HUMAN
It’s best to always remember and consider that our parents probably did the best they could at the time for us, with the resources within their reach.
As kids, we see our parents as our guardian angels and the most perfect human beings on earth. Like they could never do anything wrong. We always looked up to them and even saw them as our role models. But as we grow up, we realize that they’re also human in blood and flesh. They do mistakes too and not at all perfect.
So I don’t think it’s right putting the blame on your parents for how you’ve turned out to be. It’s not right to say “my parents didn’t give me this, my parents never bought me that or did this to me’ blah blah blah. As an adult, you’re responsible for how you want your life to turn out and you’re supposed to take full responsibility for your life instead of throwing blames.
We’ve seen so many people thrive from difficult and unbelievable childhoods and they’ve become better versions of their parents. So many people have become successful no matter how few resources or opportunities they’ve had in the past.
You will soon (or already are) become a parent and might not be able to provide everything for your child. But you trying is what’s most important just the way your own parents did.
Your parents did the best they could, and so will you.
09: THERE’S BEAUTY IN YOUR PAIN
Whatever you’ve gone through in life, has been a challenge to meet your milestone.
Because if you went through things that have brought you pain and misery, it means you’ve gotten stronger in that particular aspect. Pain doesn’t have to make you bitter and regretful.
When I talked about training your mindset, this also applies. If you choose to make your pain a lesson, it means you took it as a positive challenge and you know that you can change your pain into something versatile and productive.
Sometimes you look at yourself in the mirror and actually think “wow! I’m actually stronger than I think”, then it means you have surpassed everything that was tough on you. And this is what should always be a priority.
You’re strong and energetic. Not everyone would be able to go through what you went through and come out strong. Always believe in yourself.
10: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Learn to take care of yourself and love yourself before anybody else does. If you don’t take care of yourself then who do you expect to it? It is every man for himself world out here. Learn to do yourself first before other people.
And I don’t just mean taking care of yourself externally. Sure, it’s nice to always look put together and smart. But have you tried taking care of yourself from within?
Taking care of your wellbeing includes taking care of your mental health, your spiritual level, your heart, soul, and mind. This goes beyond anything. I think when you take care of yourself from the inside, it will ultimately radiate from the outside.
So please take care of yourself and love yourself and don’t expect someone to do it for you.
PS; Eat your food, drink your water and mind your business!!
So that’s about it. Remember to always live life the best way you can. Be a good person and always live by what you experience and believe in.
In a world full of darkness, be the light God created you to be!!